Monday, July 24, 2017

Looking back to look forward

Therapy Quilt and The Rest of My Story
 

  While this blog is focused on my quilting projects, it is also a record of the events in my life.  And hind sight is always much more in focus and revealing to me.    Looking back gives me perspective to look forward.











  One year ago, I was still in rehab and learning to stand and walk with a walker.  I was being treated for a B-12 deficiency, and lead to believe all things would return to normal in a few months!  This last year has included 3 months of occupational therapy for motor skills, 6 months of physical therapy for balance, walking and standing without falling over.  Neurological visits and testing and a clearer diagnosis of Pernicious Anemia and a life time of B-12 injections, and severe carpel tunnel in one hand and moderate in the other.  Surgery on both wrists---enough said--it was a nightmare time.  

   Teaching myself to sew again.....all those fine motor motion skills were weak.  I continue to suffer with the numbness and nerve pain in the fingers and hands.   I walk now on my own for short distances.  It takes a full concentration to maintain balance and not stumble.

    Feet and legs are numb  and the muscles tend to "lock up" and not respond at times.  I think this is due to over stimulation  from the nerves to the muscles.  I pray it is a sign of healing.   The nerves in the  feet are required to sense the ground/horizon for balance.  I have learned a few techniques about keeping my balance and using my toes and my eyes.   Vision changes have improved again....vitamin deficiencies can lead to lost of eyesight.   Since increasing the injections of B-12 to twice a week, I have begun to feel pain in my feet.  Pain is a good thing---some times.  I get thru the grocery store or shopping by having my hands on the shopping cart.  It keeps me grounded while I scan the shelves and look thru racks.   Awkward but vital for me.

  So on days like today, the thoughts haunt me.  Will I ever get better?  How long will this go on?  I want to be independent again.  I want to freely walk in the yard, climb a hill, go to the Farmer's Market......just things to enjoy.   I make myself stop and pause to think again.

  Insight:  From the fortune cookie.......

  Yesterday I cooked breakfast, went to the grocery store, put groceries away, planned the week's meals,  did 2 loads of laundry, and folded clothes.  I cooked the ground chuck for Shepard's Pie, washed up some dishes, made a late lunch.  I had a short nap, answered emails, and sorted more fabric, etc.   Exactly what in the world am I complaining about?  I have improved because a year ago I could do maybe one or two things before I collapsed.  Am I where I want to be?  No, but my life is not a race, it is my adventure.  
                     
      My adventure is slower and less arduous than most.   I am more appreciative of the things I can do, of the people I meet, of the times I enjoy.  I can still challenge myself to try new things, to be the best me I can be.  I look forward to seeing the next year of my adventure.

26 comments:

  1. Yes, it is hard, but, remember that it could be so much worse. No matter how much my feet hurt, I'm so glad that I don't have a handicap sticker, and can still walk all thru the store, etc. YOU are so much better than you were last year, and, you'll continue to plug along.

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  2. My friend you have made remarkable progress from where you were a year ago! What you've achieved with all the relearning of motor skills is really nothing short of a miracle, and I hope you can take encouragement from that fact every day. Many days I have a hard time even accomplishing what you did yesterday! Just a fact of life for this aging body, but I'm thankful for still being able to see, walk and sew. You're well on your way dear friend! This is the day that The Lord has made, let us rejoice!

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  3. You are so far from where you were last year. You have not lost any of your creative ability. The fact you keep the blog up is amazing. Your story encourages others to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep pushing in a positive direction. Thanks for all your advice and attitude!

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  4. All your hard and sometimes seemingly impossible work in rehab is paying off. Keep up the good fight - more improvement is just around the corner.

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  5. I so appreciate your openness about all you've gone through and I'm so happy for the progress you continue to make. Never give up hope.

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  6. Debbie, you have come a long way in the 12 months of intensive treatment to rehabilitate. May you continue your good, I know it's slow, progress. Every teeny, tiny bit of improvement somewhere is propelling you forward, long may it continue. It will be interesting if you post like this again in another 12 months, please do!

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  7. Honestly, I am amazed at the progress you have made in this time.
    Many things will continue to challenge you, I am sure. But keep on "fighting back" and I am sure it will continue to get better. You have a big cheering section, you know.

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  8. It's hard to count blessings when we're impatient. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  9. I think we all expect to recover from anything faster than our bodies can manage. But it's been wonderful seeing you make progress, and continue to pursue both the everyday and the joyful creative activities you do. Just imagine what you might accomplish in the next year! I hope you are pleasantly surprised.

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    1. Thanks Robby for the encouragement.

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  10. This is a wonderful post, Debbie, seeing how far you've come. We really don't realize how much our feet contribute to our balance until we can't feel with them anymore. Here's to the next year of improvements and Life!

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  11. We have come such a long way. Impatience can play heavily, but your outlook is bright and inspirational.

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  12. Your attitude inspires me and helps me remember to do all I can despite the setbacks that continue in my own health saga. So glad you are getting better even if it must be slow as molasses for you. Keep holding the positive thoughts.

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    1. Thanks....you are a no-reply blogger, but wanted to thank you.

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  13. That's what I want to read! This is exactly why I call you a Freaking Warrior! Count your blessings, write these down and keep this mind set, you've come a long baby.

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  14. Love your positive attitude. Patience with yourself and your healing will be your watchwords for a little while longer. You'll get there.

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  15. What a fabulous thought in your fortune cookie! Hang in there!!

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  16. Great Post! I love reading your blog. We must walk before we can run.

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  17. crying! You really reached me. I live with chronic pain and dysfunction. I get down about why I can't do what other people can. Then I pick myself up and do what I can that day. I like the fortune you found. We're still here, and able to see beauty, and to make some of what we want to make... glad you came to my blog today and left a comment... made me want to come to yours... and I'm so glad I did. Thank you. LeeAnna

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  18. As we get older and "surprise" health problems arise, all we can do is try harder and do as much as we can, trying each day to do a little more. I hope that there will always be some improvements for you and that each year you can look back and see the progress. Meanwhile you are a fighter and have the right attitude.

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  19. I'm humbled by your positive attitude, Debbie. I wish you continued healing and improvement!

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  20. Keep moving forward. Advance, advance, advance! Positive thinking, and Sir Old Man, will get you through!

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  21. Having experienced many similar problems to what you described above, I know how discouraging life can be sometimes. I'm not a quitter, and though I know you only through your blog, I'm sure you are not a quitter either! I have your saying on my refrigerator to remind me to try hard every day to keep going. May God bless you as you strive to improve. ---"Love"

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  22. Your words are so helpful to me and it is so good to be reminded that I am not the only one and we can still do plenty. Thank you!

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  23. Our prayers and your determination plus a lot of help from the 'healers' have got you where you are today. Stay with it! We are thinking of you

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  24. You really are an inspiration - many would have given up. You have come such a long ways. I know it is work but you seem to embrace it and I pray you will get much better. I think it's always good to look back; it helps us to see how far we've come and put things into perspective. ~Jeanne

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